As a novice I’m floundering here in the dark … kind of the same darkness when I hung over the cellar steps. I don’t like to be caught off-guard, just as I don’t like not to understand, even a small thing like this blog page; not understanding it causes anxiety. I have little patience for myself and oftentimes too much patience for others. Its how we are sometimes, those of us who endure unimaginable things. We are tolerant of things that we shouldn’t be, and intolerant of things that we should be. Ambivalence runs rampant at times!